Article by Fab after Fifty
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It would appear that midlifers are no longer happy to stay in lacklustre marriages.
A new study of 1,153 divorcees aged 45 and over reveals an upbeat attitude among those who went their separate ways, often delaying their parting until after their adult children had flown the nest.
43% said increasingly different interests caused irreparable rifts in their marriage
76% of ‘over-50’ divorcees report new-found feelings of relief, excitement and confidence
64% feel they have moved on successfully
Brits who annul their marriage in later life report feeling ‘relieved’, ‘excited’ and ‘more confident’ following their split, new research has shown.
The results are revealed following a previous ONS report which found divorce rates in the UK are dropping in every age group but the over 50s.
If there was a time when ‘divorce’ was viewed as being socially unacceptable then, it seems, those times are changing. Contrary to their parents’ more traditional values, 97% of over 50s now agree that these days divorce isn’t the social taboo it might once have been.
Silver Divorces
Michael Vale, Family Law expert at QualitySolicitors, which commissioned the study, said, “So-called silver divorces have become a widely documented phenomenon – and the process can often be less volatile than in the younger age sectors.
“With ‘empty nest syndrome’ – a common reason for divorce in later years – often comes a mutual realisation that neither partner is happy.
“These days, embracing change in the search of personal happiness is more widely encouraged than ‘settling’, so people no longer feel obliged to stay together.
“They want to make the most out of life and not be held back in the pursuit of their life goals.”
So ‘seeking independence’ is undoubtedly a prime motivator for divorce – the poll found over eight in ten had children to consider, who were typically 22 years of age when they flew the nest – and almost half of those polled (43%) suggested that a difference in life interests was what began an irretrievable breakdown of their relationship.
Can freedom begin at 50?
It’s a fascinating, if subtle, demographic change. But if life is said to begin at 40, can freedom really begin at 50?
It might seem so; a substantial 76% of ‘over-50’ divorcees report new-found feelings of relief, excitement and confidence. And furthermore 64% said that they’ve already successfully put their divorce well and truly behind them and class it as ‘in the past’.
So all is rosy, then?
Of course, divorce must be considered with care. Despite them having flown the nest, how the children would cope was the biggest worry for 39% of those polled – while the cost of the ordeal was the biggest shock for almost half (48%).
You’ll also need good legal advice to agree on the best financial arrangements. New flexibility in pension rules will be a considerable advantage if you can plan correctly and, with increased life expectancy, a good pension fund (and how you manage it) is often a person’s most valuable family asset.
“Divorce is rarely a happy process,” add Michael Vale “But when the reasons for a separation are mature and considered, it can turn out well for both parties when the dust finally settles.”
One thing’s for sure: these days it seems almost everyone agrees that age needn’t be a factor when it comes to personal happiness.
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